Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Sanju was tested HIV positive few month back, ever since then, she has lost her job, her relatives have turn their back towards her, her friends have disowned her, strange but that’s how people react with people who are suffering from AIDS. Still she didn’t gave up, she fought it out, for herself, and for Rhea. Woman I tell you, they have super power, when they take it upon them to challenge and win something they invariably end up winning it. Strangely even after all this I have never heard Sanju saying anything against Raghu, yes she at times did crib about why he left him and that day why he came back, but she never really hated him or forgot him.

Raghu and she meet after a gap for 3 years, during these 3 years they were not in touch. After that meeting, they kept meeting each other for few days and Raghu was extremely happy to see rhea. One day it seems Raghu landed at her place completely drunk and confessed to her that he really missed her and how much he loved her and want her back in his life. She was very happy and in the flow of emotions probably both unknowingly committed a mistake which they shouldn’t have. Raghu left the next day and never came back. Sanju tried reaching to him but in vain. One fine day Raghu dropped a mail confessing the fact that he is HIV positive and whatever happened that night was not intentional. She was unable to trace him after that mail; she was worried about his well begin but couldn’t trace him, till the day when she was informed by a common friend that Raghu is no more.

I was with her during the course of 1 year she survived. Initially she was stubborn and didn’t want to take any of my help, but slowly she gave up, my perseverance won against her stubbornness. I dedicated all my time to her, I was anyways guilty of not being there with her when I should have. I would finish work and meet sanju and rhea at their place and we would go out have a good time and this continued for a while. But one day sanju called me to come and see her as soon as possible, she was in hospital. I was scared so left everything and rushed to her hospital.  I clearly remember each and every word which she said to me that day;

“Adi all these day, I have been fighting this virus with zeal and strength coz I was worried about the well being of my daughter Rhea, every day I would ask myself what will happen to her after me. Why should rhea face the brunt of my mistakes? It was my decision to give birth to her when no one agreed to it, then today how can I leave her all alone. I use to ask God that he has anyways given me punishment of my deeds, he should not do this to my daughter, she hasn’t done anything. (her voice chocked and eyes were moist).”

“Adi I know if in this life I can trust someone and can rely on someone it is you. I know if anyone is there who can fill in my place in rhea’s life it has to be you. You always asked me how can I love Raghu so much and how my love for him is reflected in every word of mine. I guess I have learned it from you. Yes you adi, right since childhood till today you have taught me what love is all about. The way you supported me in every sphere of life, the pureness of your love inspired me every time.  Even when you were not there with me I could sense your love and always knew that whenever I will fall back on you, you will always support me. Adi I have never been able to give you the love you deserved, I am sorry. My love for Raghu is nothing in front of your love for me. And hence I know you are the perfect person who can replace me in Rhea’s life. I want you to accept Rhea and give her all the love that you have showered on me. I know I am being selfish and burdening you with a responsibility that you might not want to take, but I have no other option Adi. Only one request, never let rhea hate her father, I don’t want rhea to hate her father”.

Strange is this thing called “love”, one moment it gives you so much strength and the other moment it makes you extremely vulnerable. Sanju said she could not give me the love that I deserved, but she gave me her most lovable thing, and my life’s biggest asset. Yes I loved sanju ever since childhood, but could never confess to her, but I guess love cannot be hidden. Even without me speaking a single word, she knew about my feelings. I promised Sanju that I will love Rhea more than I ever loved her.

Sanju gave her life for love, I dedicated my life to love, stupid as it may sound, some love stories are beyond any logical parameters.

Today when I am stepping out to hand over my asset in the hands of another guy, I am going through mixed emotions. I am happy that I have been able to keep my word to sanju and at the same time sad that now I will be all alone all over again.

Life is a vicious journey, you end where you started.


“Dad, you will be there on time na, please don’t be late”.

“Yes Darling I will be there on time, don’t worry”.

“Dad when it comes to being on time and you, its seriously very worrying”.

“Oye…” (in a slightly firm voice)

“Hahahaha, see you soon Dad, you are the best.. love you”.

“Love u darling, catch you soon”.

Time flies, its been almost 22 years now since Rhea entered my life, yet it feels like yesterday when I hold her for the first time. The little girl has grown up fast, in all most all aspects. All these years she has been more of a mother than daughter, only when it came to her boyfriends that I got the chance to be her Father, scaring most of the guys away like a possessive father. And here I am today going to meet Anurag’s (her Mr. Right) family and talk about their marriage. Phew… feeling a little odd, probably for the first time it has stuck me that soon she will start her own family, its time for me to hand over the little hand which I took in my hand 22 years back to the hand of another guy, with a believe and faith that he will take care of it for the rest of their life.

22 years back I had promised Sanju that I will take full responsibility of Rhea and will ensure she never miss the fact that her mother is not with her. I have tried my best to make sure every wish of Rhea is taken care of and to ensure that she grows up to become the girl Sanju always wanted her to be.  Sanju was a brave girl, stood by whatever she believed and stood by her love throughout her life, in fact till the last breath. She had that aggression in her to take it on against the social norms and stand by what is correct without worrying about the actual consequences. I see the same spark in Rhea, same grace, same intensity, same aggression similar smile, similar stubborn nature, extremely sweet from heart, very understanding and rarely demanding. Every time I see rhea I think she is just the replica of her mother. The only noticeable difference is that Rhea is slightly more matured than Sanju ever was, may be something she has inherited from Raghu, her father. I never meet Raghu, but I know almost everything about him thanks to Sanju. Whenever Sanju use to speak about him I could actually see the love and deep attachment in every word. She really madly loved him and one reason why even after lots of social pressure she never aborted Rhea.

For me sanju defines love. I have known sanju since school days, we grew up together, we were each others best friend, shared almost everything. She was my biggest support. As we grew older especially after college, we drifted apart, majorly coz of my own stupid mistakes and male ego. We were out of touch for about 8 years… All these while, I had no clue about where she was and what she was doing. Just kept waiting for her, hoping someday our path we cross and we will speak again. And that’s exactly what happened, our path crossed when we meet in Kolkata airport. Both a little surprised to see each other and both a little uncomfortable and formal, but we spoke finally after a gap of 8 years. Even though it was formal hello hi and how are you, it was worth the wait and patience I have kept all these years. We added each other on gtalk, so that way we again started having regular conversations. That’s when she told me about Raghu, her marriage, divorce and Rhea.

It was cataclysmic to listen to all the pains she has gone through all these years, yet she stood by what she believed was right. She got married to Raghu against her families wish, they were together for 3 years and then Raghu left her when she was 2 month pregnant, for the last 2 year she has been taking care of Rhea all by her own. She didn’t aborted Rhea, something every one suggested nor did she married someone else, neither she had any complaints against Raghu, her love for him was so pure that she never hated him, even after coming to know that he has gifted her Death as a tribute to her love. Yes Death, Sanju was suffering from AIDS.